There’s something about knowing I will turn 60 this year that has made me sit up and pay more attention to how I spend my time and energy. Perhaps it’s not about planning more, but rather being more mindful about what it is I am planning.
My husband Peter’s (z”l) sudden and unexpected death a little over a year ago provided a harsh reminder that none of us will live forever. Last year, during the Yamim Nora’im,[1] my prayers and supplications to be inscribed in the Book of Life reached an intensity I had not heard in myself before.
Here are some of the questions on my mind and from my heart:
How do I want to spend this last part of my life?
How do I want to be thought of now, and remembered later?
What do I want to experience?
What do I want to create?
Which parts of the younger me do I wish to reclaim?
How can I contribute to the struggles for justice that speak to me?
Who deserves my love?
Let’s see what this writing brings…and offers…
[1] The 10 day period between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur
on my mind and from my heart 
Thank you for sharing these personal and profound thoughts. Living with urgency and intention is a practice I also wish to develop for myself. I look forward to checking this space to see what you discover as you cultivate greater self-awareness.
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Flaurie,
I look forward to hearing how you reflect and act on these questions. You are moving in a most thoughtful and positive direction. Hugs :}
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Wow!!! Eye opening questions for me too!! Good for you starting this next chapter. I look forward to following your blog.
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Good questions!
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Hi Flaurie, I read a magazine article in Vogue yesterday while waiting for yet another procedure on my back…the only time I pick up magazines such as this! Anyway, the article was on ageing, ‘Lessons I have Learnt’ by Marion Von Alderstein (who also has now written some books, apparently). She started her writing career at 79 yrs. She expressed some interesting insights and thoughts…some along the same lines as your questions. I thought you might find it interesting…I tried a quick Google but didn’t find it as such; but other articles about the author. I’ll be following your posts. Louise xo
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Dear Flaurie, These are good questions to be using to challenge yourself! When I turned 50 I went on a retreat entitled Developing a Rule for the Second Half of Life. I found it a very useful structure – that we examine our relationships – with ourselves, with others and the world, and with our God. And we decide what practices we need to put in place to make sure that there is a place for each of these. You have always been sensitive to others, and seem to have spent the last years making more space for the divine. I look forward to following your journey. love to you!
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Becky, this sounds fascinating and enriching! Thank you for letting me know. xo
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Hi Flaurie,
Peter was a classmate of my sister, Roxe Murray, at the University of Waterloo. I met him once or twice and remember how surprised – sadly – Roxe and I were when we heard of Peter’s death. I wish you well in your journey, which I will follow with interest – in part because of my (admittedly secondhand) knowledge of Peter, but also because I’ve had intimations of mortality too, am about your age and I think I may learn something from you about how best to spend whatever time remains.
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My dear Flaurie, Thank you for notifying me of your blog and for sharing yourself in your written words! I hope you know how much I treasure you, your humor, intelligence, and passion for justice. I’m with you and find myself traveling down a similar path to free myself, investing where I get a good return, and trusting even more in the intuition that I recall was astutely intact as a little girl. As you reflect on what you need to know please consider that your lovely heart may have already been seen without your knowing. Just for the record your legacy, I’ve seen so many times though you may not have been aware or even remember. Through your intellect; sarcasm; and the Yiddish humor; the Spanish speaking with men and women who labor for their livelihood and appreciate your understanding of their political plight; the open, loving hearts of your children; the simple walking of chairs across the street to accommodate family on the holidays; the broken bones and surgeries; Sammy cat and fishes; sharing of food ; and of life’s events happy and painful. I look forward to hearing about your journey and offer you the option of walking with me when it suits you. I wish for you to celebrate you as you are, know it is enough, and that I support you in your quest to know even more.
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Karen, thank you for this. My days are much freer now that it is summer, and I would love to spend some time together. Let’s make a date for later in June. xo
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[…] in February I launched this blog with hopes of exploring some key questions for myself. I wanted to thoughtfully look back at my […]
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