One morning in the pool, one of my bffs spoke about listening to music in a renewed way during a week-long jazz cruise. While listening to Niki Haris sing “Yesterday” and then “Killing me Softly,” both songs my friend had heard many, many times, she heard the lyrics differently. We talked about why this happened, and then I decided to pay more attention to the music in my life.
In recent months, I developed a routine of putting on “Closer to Fine” by the Indigo Girls when I got in the car every day. After speaking with my friend about her experience, I really focused on the song’s lyrics:
“The best thing you’ve ever done for me
is to help me take my life less seriously,
it’s only life after all.”
What????!!!!
All of a sudden, a few lines I had loved since first hearing them more than 20 years ago were neither comfortable nor comforting.
Had the lyrics changed on me?
. . . . . . . . . . .
So much of what and how we hear—songs, requests, complaints, or even our own inner voices—has to do with what we bring to the listening. My late husband, Peter (z”l), used to call all of this our “baggage.” I prefer to think of it as our “life experience.” Either way, it often prevents me from listening carefully.
Learning how to be a better listener means I have to really open up my ears (and heart and mind) and focus on the words I am hearing. Learning to listen quietly, to ponder more what I am hearing, to be mindful of what I bring to the moment, and to ask more questions instead of wanting to offer a quick comeback…these are all tools which will help me become a better listener, as I seek to continue to take my life more seriously.
It’s my life, after all. And I do want to move closer to fine.
on my mind and from my heart 
Ok, now you’ve got me wondering: what did you hear that struck you as different in the lyrics from Closer to Fine? I’ve always felt a sense of connection to that particular verse, although it makes me feel a little embarrassed at myself every time I hear it. Caught me in the act. What does it mean to you?
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Thanks, Michelle, for this comment and question. I think it was the timing, mostly, of listening to this song so much in the last few months. Partly due to Peter’s (z”l) untimely and sudden death, and partly because I will turn 60 in the fall, I’ve been trying to live my life with even more intentionality than before. So the idea of taking my life “less seriously” stood out to me.
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