Because we celebrate Purim during the Jewish month of Adar, we are told to be happy. This year, 5776, is a leap year, and we have Adar 1 and Adar 2, and so we should experience twice as much happiness, right? Hmmm…

I spent the better part of the first Adar wondering what it would take to find and hold onto happiness. I reached out to spend more time with loved ones, I downloaded some oldies but goodies for my Ipod, I bought a new dress, I dreamed about my future. When I heard people at synagogue laughing and saying, “Be happy, it’s Adar,” I turned to my cousin and declared, “I’m always happy. Except when I’m miserable.”

My rabbi spoke several years ago about the difference between the (secular) pursuit of happiness, and the (spiritual) cultivation of joy. The verbs themselves (pursuing vs cultivating) give some clues as to the difference between the two. A blog post from Psychology Today explains that happiness is external to one’s self (hence needing to be pursued and/or found), while joy resides inside each of us, waiting to be cultivated. The opposite of happiness is unhappiness (duh!), maybe even misery. What is the opposite of joy? I’m not sure…maybe depression and emptiness? I don’t think I want to find out anytime soon.

Lately, one of my weekly study buddies and I have been turning our attention to blessings. Individually and collaboratively, we’ve added blessings to our daily and/or weekly practice, as well as to our study sessions and Shabbat meals. I am beginning to notice an organic connection between the reciting and receiving of blessings and the steady growth of my own joyfulness.

A highlight of our study came last week when we revisited a Yom Kippur sermon by another of our rabbis (we are blessed with many rabbis!) from a few years ago, in which she talks about the importance of being a blessing by filling other people’s imaginary buckets through words and acts of kindness, generosity, and love. What a great way to cultivate joy! This week, I have been looking forward to adding an intention of how to be a blessing in the week to come as part of our Erev Shabbat rituals.

And, who knows…perhaps in replacing my pursuit of happiness with a renewed cultivation of joy, I will indeed also discover some happiness alongside the joy I’ve been creating.